Dad’s Journey

Taking Off His Belt

Published on by Joan

My Dad was a quiet, humble man. Many other characteristics could be used to describe him, such as genuine, honest, hard-working, and compassionate. He wasn’t perfect, because he was human. But because he was my daddy, in my eyes he was perfect. And I’m sure my Dad saw my imperfections, but he overlooked my flaws and loved me unconditionally. That’s how our heavenly Father looks at us. As His children, because of Christ living in us, our Father sees us as perfect.

My Dad loved to joke and pick with people. His sense of humor stayed with him up until the end of his ability to communicate. One of the hospice nurses suggested to my Mom that she cut a t-shirt up the back so it would be easier to dress him in his weakened state. After he had been bathed and settled into his bed, I went to speak to him. He said, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with Momma.” I said, “Why daddy?” He said, “She’s cutting up my t-shirts. She’s going to break me.”

Friday morning as I was trying to wake up, and was drifting in and out of sleep, I had this glimpse of Daddy standing in a doorway. He was young and strong in appearance, and he was holding his belt in his hand. At that point, I woke up. I couldn’t get that dream out of my mind, but wondered what him holding his belt in his hand meant. I got out my Bible and began looking up passages about belts. The belt was used to confine clothes close to the body. It was also used to carry things such as a person’s money purse or weapons.

In Mark 6:8, when Jesus sent out his disciples on missionary journeys, He instructed them to take nothing with them, no money in their belt.

And He instructed them that they were to take nothing for their journey, except a mere staff—no bread, no bag, no money in their belt.  Mark 6:8 NASB

In Ephesians 6:14, Christians are to gird themselves with the belt of truth. That belt, being a part of the armor, also held other defensive weapons.

13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, having belted your waist with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having strapped on your feet the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16]in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.   Ephesians 6:13-17 NASB

The more I thought of seeing Dad holding his belt, the more I felt like he was saying, “I’m taking off my belt. I’m done with my journey. I have no need to carry any money, because where I’m going, the streets are paved with gold. No need to carry my weapons, I’m done with my fight. I don’t need to be girded with truth, because I’m going to be in the very presence of the Way, the Truth and the Life.”  

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.”  John 14:6 NASB

One day when he was in the hospital, he motioned me to come beside him. He took hold of my hand and we had a good talk. He asked me to promise him something. He said, “When I pass, I want you to rejoice!”

So, I’m doing my best. I’m going to praise my heavenly Father because He has welcomed my Daddy home. Daddy has taken off his belt and his journey on this earth is complete. He’s ready to worship. And now my Daddy is completely and totally perfect.

In another conversation Dad had with my daughter while he was still in the hospital, he told her that he was getting ready to go on a new journey, one from which he wasn’t coming back. That journey will be one that will last for all eternity.

Journey on, Dad.

The Resting Chair

Published on by Joan

My salvation and my glory rest on God; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Psalm 62:7

Today has been tough. Watching someone slowly slip away is hard. I had to get out of the house for a few minutes so I walked down to Dad’s pole buildings. As I’ve stated many times in the stories I’ve shared about my Dad, he loved being outside piddling. After he became sick, some days it took all the strength he could muster to walk down to his outbuildings. His solution was to set a chair in one of the sections of the building, so that when he was able to make it that far, he could sit down and rest. The chair isn’t that pretty, but it held him up.

Through the years I’ve learned Dad loved to do that. He would go walking in the woods or out to one of his buildings and have some alone time with his Lord. I can only imagine some of the conversations he had with the Lord while sitting in his resting chair. From things he has shared, I know he had questions. I know he had moments when he prayed to be taken on Home. But I’m also sure, as hard as it has been, he knew he just had to rest in the Lord.

I sat in Dad’s chair and had my own quiet time. Resting isn’t always pretty or easy. It takes effort to get to that place, just as it took effort for my Dad to get to his chair. But once you’re there, you find the ONE you’re resting in, is able to hold you up.

Rest easy, Dad. I love you.

His Strength Will Sustain Me

Published on by Joan

I believe most people would agree that when you have been on a long, extended journey, you come to a point when you just want to go home. The traveling becomes so tiresome, and the weariness reaches to the very depths of your soul. Dad has come to that point.

As I stood beside his hospital bed, holding his hand, we talked about the hard decisions that he had made. I told him I still firmly believed that God could heal him. I believe with all my heart he can still have some good days at home. He shook his head and said he did too, just like Christ healed the man in Mark 1. But in his weakened voice, Dad said, “But if it’s not God’s will, I know His strength will sustain me.”

The thing about a long, tiring journey besides the weariness is the wondering. You look back on the journey and you wonder what good has come from the struggle. What was the purpose? Sometimes we may never know until the journey is over. Here, too, we just have to trust God does have a plan and a purpose.

Paul had that hope in God. Although he had experienced all kinds of difficulties in his journey, (see 2 Corinthians 11:23-28), he persevered. And Dad has persevered for almost six years on his journey.

My hope and prayer, and I know it is my Dad’s as well, is that his journey will do what Paul said in Philippians 1.

12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, 13 so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the praetorian guard and to everyone else, 14 and that most of the brothers and sisters, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. 15 Some, to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from goodwill; 16 the latter do it out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; 17 the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking that they are causing me distress in my imprisonment. 18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice. But not only that, I also will rejoice, 19 for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20 according to my eager expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. 23 But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; 24 yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sakes. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that your pride in Christ Jesus may be abundant because of me by my coming to you again. 27 Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear about you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;  Philippians 1:12-27 NASB

Dad, you have been an inspiration. You have shared the gospel through preaching, through living, and through the imprisonment of your sickness. And yes, because of your faithfulness to God, His strength will sustain you. I love you, Dad!

A New Source of Strength

Published on by Joan

I have shared a lot about my Dad’s cancer journey since 2017. Some good and some bad. But the ugly…well, not so much. The truth is, there has been a lot of ugly. There have been at least three specific times when we did not think Dad would make it. He recently just came through one of those times.

He had been on a break from chemo since last May. It became very obvious the cancer was coming back and he resumed chemo two weeks before Christmas. But he went down quickly after that. By the time he was supposed to receive another round, he was too weak and would not have been able to handle the treatment. He spent one night in the hospital receiving fluids. The doctor thought that the specific type of treatment that previously worked so well had either stopped being effective, or had actually reacted on him.

After some hard discussions, it was decided that Dad would be given a high dose of steroids for a week. At the end of that week, if he showed improvement, he might could try another type of treatment. If he did not show any improvement, then there was nothing else to be done.

It’s amazing what a new source of strength can do! Dad started showing improvement within just a couple days. He was able to get up better, started walking better. He started exercising as best he could and even has gotten to the point where he is using his cane instead of the walker. He is eating much better and his hope has returned. For the first time in a long time, he greeted me standing straight and tall. Instead of me stooping to give him a hug, he joked he was taller than me once again.

When the doctor saw him at the end of that week, he was surprised. There is just one more kind of treatment that the doctor thinks can be tried. Instead of going five days a week, once a month, he will now go one day a week, every week, for six weeks. At the end of that time, he will be reassessed.

As I was talking with my Dad this evening, he told me about a passage in the Gospel of Mark. A man showed he had faith in Jesus by saying he knew Jesus could heal him, if Jesus was willing. Jesus said He was willing and He did heal the man. Dad knows our Lord can heal him if He wills. We are praying it is His will.

Now a leper came to Him, imploring Him, kneeling down to Him and saying to Him, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.” Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.” As soon as He had spoken, immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed.   Mark 1:40-42 NKJV

I’ve been thinking about how that one medication given to Dad enabled him to gain strength. It helped him physically, but seeing the improvements has also helped him mentally. When we feel better, we think better. I also firmly believe it is God showing out in answer to many prayers.

But I’ve also pondered this fact. So many people are attempting to live life in their own strength. They may be managing well or they may have their head barely above water. Their weakness often shows up when a new trial begins. Things in their life can become very ugly and hopeless. They look to other people. They look to the world. But nothing can fill that emptiness and weakness they are experiencing. Without a new source of strength, they will surely perish.

But God.  

The first thing we have to do is look to the right Source of strength.

In the Book of Micah, the prophet was acknowledging the sinfulness of the people. He was acknowledging how they all had turned from God and all was hopeless. However, when he turned his eyes to God, he discovered a new source of comfort and strength.

But as for me, I will be on the watch for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation.
My God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, enemy of mine. Though I fall I will rise;
Though I live in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.  Micah 7:7-8 NASB

In the Book of Acts, Peter and the apostles were causing a disturbance among the people because of preaching the truth of the Gospel. They were imprisoned, released by an angel of the Lord, brought back before the religious council, and threatened. When they continued to preach, the religious leaders again discussed how to handle them. One Pharisee had enough sense to advise them. He said this:

“And so in the present case, I say to you, stay away from these men and leave them alone, for if the source of this plan or movement is men, it will be overthrown; but if the source is God, you will not be able to overthrow them; or else you may even be found fighting against God.” Acts 5:38-39 NASB

People can look to the world and they will not receive what their soul desires. In fact, they are actually fighting against God by not receiving Him. But when we come to that point and finally turn to the Lord, we find everything we never even knew we needed.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than mankind, and the weakness of God is stronger than mankind. 1 Corinthians 1:25 NASB

The Psalms are full of verses about the strength of God. Here are just a couple.

Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually.  Psalm 105:4 NASB

On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3 NASB

Christ, alone, is our source.

Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey Him. Hebrews 5:8-9 NASB

Once we receive Christ as our personal Savior, He then becomes our very life. His strength is provided and also implanted within us in the person of the Holy Spirit.

But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; He is their strength in time of trouble.
The Lord helps them and rescues them; He rescues them from the wicked and saves them, Because they take refuge in Him. Psalm 37:39-40 NASB

And because we are living from His strength, He alone receives the glory.

Whoever speaks is to do so as one who is speaking actual words of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.  1 Peter 4:11 NASB

And so, we are claiming by faith, that God is the source of Dad’s new-found strength. We are waiting and watching to see what God will do. Whatever it is, we know it will bring glory and praise to God.

And on the basis of faith in His name, it is the name of Jesus which has strengthened this man whom you see and know; and the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect health in the presence of you all. Acts 3:16 NASB

Dad, you still have a generation to speak to. Keep standing tall!

…But He Has a Good Heart

Published on by Joan

It’s been quite a while since I have written about my Dad. His last chemo treatment was back in May. The treatments were very hard on him and his cancer seemed stable, so the decision was made to take a break from the chemo. However, it wasn’t a break from other health issues which plagued him. 

Dad has had some skin cancers to appear, a side effect of chemo. One particular spot on his hand was removed a couple times. They thought they had it all but each time it returned. They finally removed a much larger section of the back of his hand in July. The bones and tendons could be seen before they finally felt confident they had removed all of the cancerous cells. The spot has been slowly healing and is now the size of a small coin. Dad said all along it would be Christmas before all the skin grew back and it certainly appears that will be the case.

Another issue he has had since almost the beginning of his cancer journey has been problems with his back. There are several areas along his spine where the discs are bulging. Close to the bottom of his spine, the bone is pressing against his nerves which is causing numbness from his waist down. Because of that area getting worse, he cannot walk without a cane or walker.

The loss of full feeling and weakness in his legs has been hard on him not only physically, but mentally. As I have mentioned several times, my Dad was never one to be still long. He loved being outside “piddling.” If he didn’t have actual tasks to take care of, he would just be out walking around. This loss of mobility has brought feelings of uselessness.

The neurosurgeon was willing to try the least invasive option of shaving bone away from the nerves and leaving the other “bad” places in his spine alone. Before he would consider surgery, the doctor wanted Dad to have an echocardiogram and a stress test performed on his heart. Due to having had a heart attack before, and how exhausted Dad becomes when he does try to walk any distance at all, we were all concerned the tests would show his heart had weakened. But God is faithful and answered prayers. The tests actually showed his heart function had improved since the last tests were performed a little over a year ago. So, with all the health issues Dad has and has come through, we can say he has a good heart.

As I pondered over that phrase in my mind, I thought of how often we use that saying to describe someone’s character. We may use it in a positive way when describing how a person was lending help or performing an act of service. Or we sometimes use it as an offset to balance a negative comment. For example, “That person doesn’t go to church, but they have a good heart.”

But is having a good heart enough? When Dad had to go through having the tests on his heart, the heart doctor said he is often asked to “clear” someone for surgery like he was having to do for my Dad. But just because tests can show if a person’s heart is functioning within what is considered normal ranges, it’s no guarantee that the surgery will go perfectly. There are so many other areas to consider such as the overall health of a person, their age, the type of surgery they are having, etc.

And when we say a person has a good heart, there are still so many other factors to consider. The only thing that truly matters when a person comes to the end of their life is not whether or not they have a good heart. It matters who their heart belongs to. You see, the most moral, loving and kind-hearted person you know could still die and go to hell if they have not given their heart and their life to my Lord Jesus Christ.

I know for sure that my Dad has a good heart. Physically, the tests he had showed that. But morally, he is a humble, kind man. I have never heard him be unkind to anyone. People love speaking with him. Everyone I know that knows my Dad will tell me how much they think of him. But the most important thing is that I know my Dad has given his heart to Christ. He has a good heart because of the One who holds it.

I am reminded of a Psalm in which the writer is comparing his life with those who are living wickedly. He thought those people had it so much easier than he had. They never seemed to have problems. They went through life scoffing God and seemed to get away with it. But then God allowed him to realize their future. Those who did not live for God would be eternally separated from Him. But those who trusted in the Lord, would have eternity with God. Please read all of Psalm 73, but notice these verses:

23Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.  Psalm 73:23-28 NIV

So, what about you? What is the condition of your heart?

Dad, I’m so glad the strength of your heart is the Lord and He is your portion forever!

Just For Who You Are

Published on by Joan

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 1 Peter 5:10 KJV

Life is hard. And often discouraging. Even Jesus said, “In the world ye shall have tribulation.” I could talk about how unkind, mean, and even downright evil some people are. I could talk about how one bad thing after another seems to happen. How sinful the world is. About how devasting sickness and disease can be. I could dwell on a multitude of reasons why life is hard and how sometimes it feels like even God doesn’t care anymore. Just like Jesus must have felt when He said, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

But to dwell on just the “tribulation,” means we have missed the rest of Jesus’ words. The whole verse is:

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  John 16:33 KJV

And remember that after Jesus cried out to God, asking why He had forsaken Him, He then said, “It is finished.” (John 19:30) He willingly faced the tribulation so that He could complete the plan of salvation.

Do you get it?

Instead of focusing on the bad, instead of reading just one part of a verse, look at the bigger truth. Yes, we live in a sinful world. And it’s hard. But God sent His Son to die for our sins and then raised Him from the dead. Jesus has victory over sin, death, hell and the grave! Then, when we receive Christ as our Savior, the Holy Spirit dwells within us to empower us to live for Christ. We have the Spirit of God and the Words of God, the Bible, to teach us all truth of how to live in this fallen world.

When I stop and really think about what Christ did just for me, I’m humbled. He was persecuted and mocked. Beaten and scorned. He endured more than I can really imagine so that I could be saved. And God has blessed me in so many more ways. I could list blessing after blessing. He has also had to lovingly convict and correct me at times. But this verse sums it up:

And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen. John 21:25 KJV

If God never does another thing for me, He did more than I deserved. If He never blesses me with another blessing, I will still love Him simply for who He is and what He has already done. I can enjoy His presence and fellowship now, without expecting Him to do another thing. He is my Abba, Father, and I love Him.

All of that was the introduction to tell you about my Dad and his journey.

My Dad has also endured much. His suffering and tribulation has been heavy. It’s been more than five long years now that he has been on this journey. In his weakened humanity, he feels useless, even sometimes forsaken, because of not being able to do the things he once did.

But let me tell a little bit about what he has done.

I remember Dad meeting me one day as I got off the school bus, draping his arm around my shoulder, as we walked to the house. I felt proud and loved that he would do that in front of all the kids watching from the bus driving away. I remember riding in the back of his pickup truck on summer days. I remember going on walks through the woods as he taught me what different trees looked like. I remember Dad teaching me how to ride a go-cart, a mini-bike, a motorcycle and eventually, a car. I remember spankings, but mostly the talking-to before the spankings, and hurting more for knowing I had disappointed him than from the physical punishment.

I remember him pulling me out of the water as I was sinking, saving my life.

I remember how both he and Mom worked hard to provide for me and my brother. I remember him walking me down the aisle when I was married. I remember him bringing a new rocking chair into my house when I had my first baby. I remember him doing the plumbing on our remodeled home. And I could go on and on, but page and time could not hold all that he has already done.

What I really cherish is the many conversations we have had through the years. All the spiritual conversations and truths he shared. The silly jokes and funny stories. The tales of his own childhood. And, oh, his great wisdom.

So, Dad, it’s not about what you can no longer do. It’s for all the things you have already done. It’s the time together and conversations we can still have that makes you so special. It’s simply because of who you are. You are my Daddy and I love you!

Strength and Vitality

Published on by Joan

It has been a while since I have shared anything about my Dad’s journey. I don’t really have a good explanation of why, other than it’s just hard watching someone you love go through difficult things. I’ve never written for the purpose of receiving pity for my Dad, myself, or any of his family members. I’ve always felt that by sharing my Dad’s journey, that it would be uplifting to others and an encouragement to him. Although hard, it has been an honor to watch him struggle, yet whole-heartedly continue to hold on to his faith in his Savior and Lord.

That doesn’t change the fact that cancer is a thief. It has robbed my Dad of quality of life, of strength, and at times, his dignity. It has aged his body beyond his soon to be 81 years. It has caused him to depend on the very ones he once cared for with his own hands and strength. It has caused him to be discouraged and weary of the struggle. Yet not once has he questioned the love and mercy of our Lord.

When the topic of death does come up, he will clearly state he is prepared to go, but he’s not ready to leave just yet. He still has things to do. Even as he sits in his chair outside and watches time and the world pass by, God still sends random strangers to sit beside him – strangers who need to receive the compassion and wise words coming from God’s faithful servant.

When I call and visit, I always ask if there is anything I can get him before I go. His answer for years is always the same. “I could use some strength and vitality.” How often I have wished I could give him just that! I wish there was some magic potion that would strengthen him physically and revive him emotionally and mentally. Something to rejuvenate his weakened body and soul.

But, Dad, you already possess the source of greatest Strength. The One who gives Life more abundantly, resides within you. If only our physical bodies could match our eternal state in Christ!

When I read the following verses, I see them alive in Dad.

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. 29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:28-31 KJV

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion. 2 Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me. 3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. 4 Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. 5 For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth. 6 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee. 7 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge. 8 Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honour all the day. 9 Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. 10 For mine enemies speak against me; and they that lay wait for my soul take counsel together, 11 Saying, God hath forsaken him: persecute and take him; for there is none to deliver him. 12 O God, be not far from me: O my God, make haste for my help. 13 Let them be confounded and consumed that are adversaries to my soul; let them be covered with reproach and dishonour that seek my hurt. 14 But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. 15 My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof. 16 I will go in the strength of the Lord God: I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only. 17 O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. 18 Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come. 19 Thy righteousness also, O God, is very high, who hast done great things: O God, who is like unto thee! 20 Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth. 21 Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. 22 I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel. 23 My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed. 24 My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long: for they are confounded, for they are brought unto shame, that seek my hurt.     Psalm 71 KJV

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.  Luke 10:27 KJV

I could go on and on with verses from God’s Word that speaks of strength found only in our Lord. I am not belittling the physical strength my Dad so longs for, but am just emphasizing that from my perspective, my Dad is still the strongest man I know. He has always lived a righteous and upright life in my eyes. He has preached God’s word from the pulpit and continues to preach it just in how he lives his daily life.

You possess the greatest strength any man could desire, Dad.

So moving on to vitality. I looked up the definition of vitality and found this as one of the meanings:

“Vitality: capacity for survival or for the continuation of a meaningful or purposeful existence:” (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/vitality, accessed 3/22/22)

I thought it fit Dad well. It is against odds and against the doctor’s original expectations that Dad is still alive. And over and over again, we have seen God use him and his condition to touch others. He has had and still has a great purpose in life.

 Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress. Psalm 17:3 KJV

David purposed to never speak against the Lord in spite of the battles he faced. With all that Dad has gone through, he has never blamed God. He has faithfully continued to trust his Savior.

The Lord of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand:  Isaiah 14:24 KJV

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 KJV

In our human minds, we cannot fathom a reason why God allows certain things to happen. But just as God had a purpose for everything in the past, He still has a purpose for everything in the present. Every battle, every victory, is under the sovereign control of God. When we accept that, then even in the midst of the struggle, we can rest in Him.

The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot. 6 The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage. 7 I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. 8 I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. 9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. 10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. 11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.  Psalm 16:5-11 KJV

Dad, if I had strength and vitality to give to you, I surely would. But know the strength and vitality (purpose of life) that you already possess, is more valuable than any magic potion I could ever find. I love you, Dad.

The Separation

Published on by Joan

A couple weeks ago, my Mom had to take my Dad to the Emergency Department. Due to all of the Covid issues, Mom just had to drop him off at the door and was unable to go in with him. This was a little after 9:00 AM. She called to let me know and I went to the hospital to sit with her. Mom wanted to remain close to the door in case someone did happen to come looking for her to give her an update, so we sat on the bench outside the ED most of the day.

I will not go into all the details, but that was just an awful day. Hours went by with no word, no update. When I finally got a number to call directly to the ED, little information was given. It was hard on my Mom just sitting there, unable to be with the man she had been hand-in-hand with for over 60 years. And my Dad was never told we were waiting outside for any word we could get, or that we had called in and asked that he be told we loved him. In fact, he was worried something had happened to his wife and they were keeping it from him.

Mom finally got to go see him the next afternoon. He could only have one visitor but just knowing Mom was with him helped my feelings a lot. After a couple days in the hospital, Dad was able to come home. He is still very weak but will resume chemo treatments next week.

Thinking back on those hours of separation and not knowing what his condition was made me think about spiritual matters. For those who have a personal relationship with Christ, we know where our eternal home will be. And we also know that those who never receive Christ as their Savior will one day be separated forever from Christ and from those loved ones who are in Christ. Thinking of those who will spend an eternity apart from Christ is heart wrenching.

When Mom and I couldn’t get word from my Dad, we were troubled. We couldn’t know for sure that anyone was watching him and taking care of his needs. But when Mom could be with him, it made a huge difference in our anxiety level. She was able to assist him and just be in his presence. When we know our loved one who has passed away is with Christ, it can make a huge difference in our level of grief than when we know someone died without Christ. The difference is in the knowing they’re in loving hands.

The greatest gift you can give to your loved one is to assure them of your relationship with Christ. I praise God that I have parents who will surely spend an eternity in heaven. And if the Lord tarries His coming, the day may come when I am separated from them on this side of eternity. But I know where they will be and where I shall also be when I breathe my last breath.

How about you? Will your separation from those you love be temporary or permanent?

Thank you, Dad, for the assurance any separation from you will only be temporary!

“Men of Israel, listen to these words: Jesus the Nazarene, a Man attested to you by God with miracles and wonders and signs which God performed through Him in your midst, just as you yourselves know— this Man, delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put Him to death. But God raised Him from the dead, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.” Acts 2:22-24 NASB

“Now I say this, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Behold, I am telling you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 But when this perishable puts on the imperishable, and this mortal puts on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written: “Death has been swallowed up in victory. 55 Where, O Death, is your victory? Where, O Death, is your sting?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the Law; 57 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:50-57 NASB

It’s the Little Things

Published on by Joan

My Dad has always been a hard-working man. I believe not being able to do all the things he could once do without help has been the hardest thing about being sick. Sometimes he still will push himself to mow their yard. But if someone else beats him to that task, he at least has to be outside to sit and watch them.

Back when he was physically well, if he was not outside working on something, then he would be just out walking around the property. Sometimes even in the middle of the night if he couldn’t sleep. The weakness in his feet and legs now prevents him from doing a lot. These days he always has a cane or his walker to assist him in getting around.

One day when we had to go to town, my husband found a digital bicycle horn. It will play several different sounds. We took it to my Dad and attached it to his cane that he was using at the time. Of course, he had to play around and push each button. We all had a good laugh.

When his next round of chemo started, he entertained the nurses with the horn. When he got ready to leave, he played the sound of a car doing a burnout as he unsteadily walked along. He was quite the hit.

The next day when he got called to go earlier than he had been scheduled for his treatment, he didn’t have time to switch the bell from his cane to his walker, but he needed the walker because of being weak and dizzy. When he arrived at Levine, the nurses wanted to know where his bell was. When he got home that day, he made sure to get the bell put on his walker and was prepared to use it the rest of the week. And again the next round of treatment he had. That little bell has brought much laughter.

We often take so much for granted in our lives. But watching my Dad and Mom deal with so much has taught me invaluable lessons. We should cherish each moment and each task we have to do. Even the mundane ordinary things that we complain about doing. For one day we may need assistance in doing them.

My Dad loved to witness to others as he went about his active life. He recently stated that one thing that bothered him about being sick was the feeling of not being able to witness and minister to others like he once did. I don’t think he realizes how much just sharing the joy that comes from a little bell means to those around him. Or the kind words he shares with the ladies at Levine. Or getting to visit neighbors and family sitting on the carport. Or waving at each and every car that passes by, whether he knows them or not. All those little things mean a lot. Not just to him, but to the ones who are blessed by the humble and kind man that imparts so much wisdom when you just sit with him and chat. The man I’m proud to call my Dad.

It matters, Dad. You matter. And God isn’t finished with you yet. Keep blowing that horn.

“Better is a little with the fear of the Lord Than great treasure, and turmoil with the treasure.” Proverbs 15:16 NASB

Give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; Make His deeds known among the peoples.
2 Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; Tell of all His wonders.
3 Boast in His holy name; May the heart of those who seek the Lord be joyful.
4 Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually. Psalm 105:1-4 NASB

Reserved Seating

Published on by Joan

There have been some good things to come out of Dad’s cancer journey. One has been the relationships built with the special people who work at Levine. When they found out that Dad would be resuming treatment, they made sure to make him feel special.

He got the nickname of “Superman” the first time he went for treatment because he wore a Superman t-shirt that had been given to him. That nickname has stuck. When he returned for his first treatment this time, his chair had a sign which read: “Superman – This chair is reserved for the one and only Superman!”  That special treatment and care shown to him not only made him feel good, but it touched my mom and us all.

Because of the whole covid issue, the patient receiving treatment can no longer have someone sitting with them while taking treatment. When he went before, my mom would accompany him. I would go sometimes if he was there during my lunch time. Others would occasionally drop by to see him as well. But now he is there alone. Sitting in his reserved chair.

The nurses are good to keep my mom informed during the time Dad is there and they call to let her know when he is close to finishing and can be picked up. So in spite of the reason he is there, he has enjoyed getting out of the house and around people who enjoy picking with him. And those nurses have become friends.

It reminded me of several places in the Book of Acts when Paul was in ministry. Sometimes he served alone, but many times he had friends that would go with him on his missionary journeys. And once when he was imprisoned, the Bible specifically states that his friends were allowed to meet his needs.

“He gave orders to the centurion for Paul to be kept in custody and yet have some freedom, and not to prevent any of his friends from providing for his needs.”  Acts 24:23 NASB

Even though Levine is not a prison, Dad is having to go alone and is not there just because he wants to be. While sitting in his reserved seat, restricted by the IV he is hooked up to, special friends are there to meet his needs.

But I also keep thinking about his reserved seat. And how we all who are in Christ, also have a reserved seat waiting on us. In fact, part of us is already there!

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our wrongdoings, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come He might show the boundless riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:4-9 NASB

And it’s not just a seat reserved for us, but a heavenly inheritance.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, 7 so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 8 and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”   1 Peter 1:3-9 NASB

Dad is experiencing his trials now. And his faith is being tested. But that faith has not failed him. He is trusting fully in God. He’s not worried about the cancer. God took it away before, and he knows God will take it away again. It’s the side effects that trouble him the most. The severe physical discomfort isn’t pleasant at all. But even in the midst of his suffering, he has joy inexpressible and full of glory. Joy in the wonderful relationships he has built at Levine. But more than anything, the joy in his salvation and his reserved seat with Jesus.

Your reserved seat awaits, Dad.

“Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” Colossians 3:1-4 NASB