I’ve had many folks asking how my Dad is doing. We appreciate all the inquiries and the continual prayers.
Dad’s 4th chemo treatment was the last week of May. Because it was Memorial Day on that Monday, he went 4 days that week and had the last of 5 days of treatment on June 3. After that, he had a PET scan on June 11. That scan revealed there was slight improvement in some of the lymph nodes but there were still several in his chest that had not cleared up. The doctor discussed with Dad how difficult the treatments had been. Even though, on paper, he is 78 years old, his body has aged by two years due to the side effects of chemo. So it is like his body is that of an 80 year old.
They discussed the fact that this rare form of cancer, T-cell lymphoma, is aggressive and will continue to come back even with treatment. The pros and cons were openly discussed of continuing treatment or ending chemo. For now, Dad has chosen to stop treatment. He will continue to go regularly to have his port flushed and blood work done. His next appointment with the doctor is three months away, at which point a scan may be scheduled. If the cancer has progressed, he can chose to begin treatment once more.
My Dad made that decision with the doctor on the week before he had been scheduled to start another round of chemo. He was immediately relieved that he did not have to endure another week of feeling sick and exhausted beyond description. Each day that week when he was able to get outside and do anything, he would tell Mom that he would not have been capable of doing that task if he had continued with treatment.
Now, he has some days when he feels good and is able to get out and do things. He can mow a little bit and rest. He can clean out a stopped up drain pipe, then rest. Other days, his 80 year old body doesn’t feel strong at all. His legs are the biggest problem, feeling like he has little strength at times to walk any distance. Yet, days spent sitting on the carport visiting with neighbors who stop by have been enjoyed. He and Mom keeping hummingbird feeders filled so they can enjoy watching the birds. Visits from family and just getting out and riding around have occurred. Small things have been enjoyed that he would not have felt up to doing had he still been taking treatments.
The feelings have been a mixture of relief and worry. Of anxiousness and peace. It is after all, ultimately Dad’s decision. It’s been hard on Dad, enduring the harshness of the treatments and it’s been hard on family members watching it. It’s nice seeing him getting out and doing things, even though there is a limit to how much he can do.
As I have tried to process all the varying emotions, one Bible story kept coming to mind.
38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” 41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (NKJV)
We have so many decisions in our life that we have to make each day. Some we make involuntarily and without any thought at all. Other decisions that affect our life, we need to make carefully. The most important decision we will ever make is whether or not to receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. But even after that, we still must chose each day whether or not to follow His leading. Mary and Martha both loved Jesus. And even though Martha was doing well to serve the Lord, Mary had chosen what was better, to spend time with Him.
My Dad could have chosen to take treatments until all the cancer was gone. But the side effects were grueling. He was unable to enjoy the simple pleasures of any task because of feeling so bad. He chose what was better for him. To enjoy the summer, doing whatever he feels like doing each day. He chose feeling up to sitting around spending time with family and friends in conversation, rather than lying in a bed from feeling too sick to set up.
We do not know what the future holds. None of us do. So each day we need to choose the better thing. Spend time with the Lord. Spend time with family. Enjoy simple tasks. Choose better.
I Love You, Dad!