It has been a while since I have shared anything about my Dad’s journey. I don’t really have a good explanation of why, other than it’s just hard watching someone you love go through difficult things. I’ve never written for the purpose of receiving pity for my Dad, myself, or any of his family members. I’ve always felt that by sharing my Dad’s journey, that it would be uplifting to others and an encouragement to him. Although hard, it has been an honor to watch him struggle, yet whole-heartedly continue to hold on to his faith in his Savior and Lord.
That doesn’t change the fact that cancer is a thief. It has robbed my Dad of quality of life, of strength, and at times, his dignity. It has aged his body beyond his soon to be 81 years. It has caused him to depend on the very ones he once cared for with his own hands and strength. It has caused him to be discouraged and weary of the struggle. Yet not once has he questioned the love and mercy of our Lord.
When the topic of death does come up, he will clearly state he is prepared to go, but he’s not ready to leave just yet. He still has things to do. Even as he sits in his chair outside and watches time and the world pass by, God still sends random strangers to sit beside him – strangers who need to receive the compassion and wise words coming from God’s faithful servant.
When I call and visit, I always ask if there is anything I can get him before I go. His answer for years is always the same. “I could use some strength and vitality.” How often I have wished I could give him just that! I wish there was some magic potion that would strengthen him physically and revive him emotionally and mentally. Something to rejuvenate his weakened body and soul.
But, Dad, you already possess the source of greatest Strength. The One who gives Life more abundantly, resides within you. If only our physical bodies could match our eternal state in Christ!
When I read the following verses, I see them alive in Dad.
Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. 29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31 KJV
In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion. 2 Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me. 3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. 4 Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. 5 For thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou art my trust from my youth. 6 By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee. 7 I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge. 8 Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honour all the day. 9 Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. 10 For mine enemies speak against me; and they that lay wait for my soul take counsel together, 11 Saying, God hath forsaken him: persecute and take him; for there is none to deliver him. 12 O God, be not far from me: O my God, make haste for my help. 13 Let them be confounded and consumed that are adversaries to my soul; let them be covered with reproach and dishonour that seek my hurt. 14 But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. 15 My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof. 16 I will go in the strength of the Lord God: I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only. 17 O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. 18 Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come. 19 Thy righteousness also, O God, is very high, who hast done great things: O God, who is like unto thee! 20 Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth. 21 Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. 22 I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel. 23 My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed. 24 My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long: for they are confounded, for they are brought unto shame, that seek my hurt. Psalm 71 KJV
And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. Luke 10:27 KJV
I could go on and on with verses from God’s Word that speaks of strength found only in our Lord. I am not belittling the physical strength my Dad so longs for, but am just emphasizing that from my perspective, my Dad is still the strongest man I know. He has always lived a righteous and upright life in my eyes. He has preached God’s word from the pulpit and continues to preach it just in how he lives his daily life.
You possess the greatest strength any man could desire, Dad.
So moving on to vitality. I looked up the definition of vitality and found this as one of the meanings:
“Vitality: capacity for survival or for the continuation of a meaningful or purposeful existence:” (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/vitality, accessed 3/22/22)
I thought it fit Dad well. It is against odds and against the doctor’s original expectations that Dad is still alive. And over and over again, we have seen God use him and his condition to touch others. He has had and still has a great purpose in life.
Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress. Psalm 17:3 KJV
David purposed to never speak against the Lord in spite of the battles he faced. With all that Dad has gone through, he has never blamed God. He has faithfully continued to trust his Savior.
The Lord of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand: Isaiah 14:24 KJV
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 KJV
In our human minds, we cannot fathom a reason why God allows certain things to happen. But just as God had a purpose for everything in the past, He still has a purpose for everything in the present. Every battle, every victory, is under the sovereign control of God. When we accept that, then even in the midst of the struggle, we can rest in Him.
The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot. 6 The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage. 7 I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. 8 I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. 9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. 10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. 11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:5-11 KJV
Dad, if I had strength and vitality to give to you, I surely would. But know the strength and vitality (purpose of life) that you already possess, is more valuable than any magic potion I could ever find. I love you, Dad.